“Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.” Wayne Dyer
Self-worth is an inside job. It can’t come from the approval of others. If it does, we will be unhappy. People value different things and don’t have the same principles or perspectives that we do. We have to please ourselves by being ourselves, instead of relying on others for validation. Low self-worth is the root cause of many of our problems. If we feel unworthy, we can’t have healthy relationships, manifest abundance or, ultimately, be happy.
Most of us start feeling unworthy at an early age. Well-meaning parents, teachers and friends constantly compared us and told us that we needed improvement. As a result, we developed an inner critic and belief system based on feeling inadequate or lacking. Furthermore, comparisons lead to competitions and decide winners and losers. Generally, we make ourselves the losers because we didn’t live up to the standards of others.
When we base our self-worth on external accomplishments, it will always fluctuate according to our wins and losses. Money is a perfect example. Our self-worth will come crashing down when our bank account is low. If we have strong self-worth stemming from our soul, we might be disappointed, but we’ll feel confident that we can manifest more. Of course, accomplishments are important because they help us recognize and express our unique gifts. We just can’t base our self-worth on them.
When we experience challenging situations, it’s always important to acknowledge and express our feelings. We just have to pay attention to the belief behind the disappointment. When we have low self-worth, our inner critic tells us we will never succeed, we’re not worthy or we’re a victim. The truth is, self-worth doesn’t come from what we do or have, rather it’s about who we are.
If we don’t love our self, we can’t love others and we tend to judge them harshly. People are a mirror for us. What we don’t like in ourselves, we don’t like in others. And,
much of what we don’t like about ourselves, comes from the beliefs of others!
Ways to increase self-worth:
Love yourself as you are right now, flaws and all.
Have discernment, but don’t judge.
Practice compassion to become more accepting and loving.
Be grateful. Don’t overlook the gems.
Be patient. It takes time to let go of old beliefs. You need nurturing, not punishment.
Be aware of your inner-critic. This pesky voice forms false beliefs and is never satisfied.
Have humor – it makes the journey more enjoyable.
Be kind to everyone, starting with yourself.
Be yourself and share your gifts.
We wear masks to hide, to pretend or to try to fit in. By depending on others for our self-worth, we’ll never be happy. We must spend quiet time to connect with our soul to discover who we truly are. By nurturing and allowing our true selves to shine, we’ll feel good about ourselves and make the world a better place!